Sometimes i feel like I've lost touch of who I am and what I want. Do I really want to accept that I may never go back to school and i don't even have a dream of becomming something amazing. I don't know what I want, I never have, I think I never will. Why do I get so bored with continuos actions that take place in my life. I'm sick of brushing my hair and showering everyday. I want to shave my head and rinse in the hose. I'm sick of smoking the same weed everyday and just watching TV and going to bed early. I want to get drunk and run the streets wildly. I am mostly sick of my job I think. I think. I think I'm crazy! I don't know what I think. Am I gonna really work at Green Earth forever? And what if I do leave? Then what? Manage another retail store in the mall? Ughghghhhh! I could have been so much more! I have failed myself.


I need to move on with life, bigger and better. I know I'll move to another counrty all alone and teach English or something, where no one knows me. Or backpack around the world and risk my life with every hand that I shake. Or how about a vacation. That's all I really want! To lay on a beach listening to waves and birds, i the sunshine, sipping pina colada. For Gods sake, I just need a damn break from this god forsaken world! I'llbe in paradise for a just a little while.